I figured since I have decided to pursue this colombia adventure I should start doing this blog thing. I don't know how I feel about letting you randomly read my thoughts and I don't know how devoted I will be to sharing my thoughts but I'm going to give it a try.
So if you are unsure what I mean by this Colombia adventure, here goes...
Over the past few years, I've had the idea in the back of my mind to live and work overseas. I really don't think I actually took it seriously though until recently. It was just an idea that sounded cool when I thought and talked about it. I looked online all the time for opportunities (there are so many) and I even went so far as to email the people with those organizations, but I never followed through. Something always stood in the way- family, friends, relationships, worries about my diabetes, fear of raising support, etc. I wanted to take thatbig step and say yes, but I let my list of "responsibilities" talk me out of it. Looking back, I'm pretty sure that was God taking me down a path to prepare my heart for this.
For this year, I decided that I would teach ESL in Raleigh and threw out the idea of going overseas; maybe not forever, but postponing it relieved me of the worry and guilt trips from family. Then in November I got an email from an organization I had emailed awhile back. ONCE AGAIN THAT ANNOYING THOUGHT POPPED BACK IN MY HEAD. It was sooo hard to escape it, especially when God keeps calling you back to it. So I started searching again. After hearing of some friends who were taking their own step of faith to go overseas, my passion only grew stronger. It seemed everything in my life had been speaking this message to me. At church, at my job, the books I was reading, everything...
I emailed this Christian school that I saw online...the website looked amazing and they needed an ESL TEACHER! It was a perfect opportunity...teach ESL in spanish speaking country at an American school for missionary kids! WOW! BUT...(and this is where God had to work on me)...it was in Bogota, Colombia, a country that is pretty dangerous for Americans.
I kept looking at other options, somewhat to satisfy my mom and dad's wants of me being more "responsible, financially secure, close by, and safe" and my hoping to find something that I wanted- Costa Rica, for example, which has nice weather, plenty of outdoor activities, smaller communities, and, well, not a year commitment. I wanted to go to Costa Rica, NOT COLOMBIA! I looked and looked and looked. All of the options seemed exactly what I wanted, yet I wasn't excited. They were short term (summer- so I still come back and teach and have a salary), and in great locations in Costa Rica. For some reason I felt dissappointed that I was settling for only a two month adventure. What was wrong with me?!?! Isn't that what I wanted? I think I was starting to realize that going to Costa Rica wasn't going to require me trusting God with my life. It would have been very easy for me to pick up and go to Costa Rica. God wanted me to trust him and be faithful to his plan for my life, not my plan for my life.
THEN on Monday, January 8, while on the eliptical at the gym, I got a phone call from an unknown number. Guess who? Beth Alfandor from El Camino Academy, in... BOGOTA, COLOMBIA. At first, I was like, crap! I was going to have to be polite and listen, waste my few day minutes on my cell phone, to hear a schpeal (don't know how to spell that) about this place in Colombia, where I didn't want to go. We talked for a good half hour or more and somehow, without realizing it, my thoughts began to change. I started to sincerely listen to what she had to say, and I started to become more comfortable about considering looking into it. When I brought up the dangers of Colombia she said something like 'the safest place to be is where God wants you to be'. I don't think she meant physically, but spiritually. It's dangerous to get off the path that God planned for you because that means denying his authority over your life and taking it into your own hands. Beth was great and before getting off the phone, she said a quick prayer for me, not at all pushing me to choose her school, but just to follow God's lead.
And so I thought about it and prayed about it. I was also reading this book "Dangerous wonder" about jumping first, fearing later; taking those steps that the world views as irresponsible, reckless, unstable, etc. God was definitely working on my heart that week. Finally, later in the week, I was riding in the car with Erica, and saying aloud, with lots of emotions, all of my reasons why I should do it and should not do it. The danger, the risk, the fears, the doubts, the emotions, the challenge, the adventure, the excitement, the journey, THE JUMP. Then I said yes. Then, out loud to Erica, I commited to seeing where God would take it. That was the moment. That was the first time my I have said with my whole heart that I would for real go if God wanted me to. I knew it was the first time because of the relief that I felt after saying it. The pounding in my heart, the exhiliration!
This opportunity was definitely going to require me putting every bit of my trust in God.
I realized I could't run anymore because I would end up running the rest of my life or either settle for something less that the exciting plans God has for me, and causing me to be dissatisfied for the rest of my life every time I think about the opportunities I could have experienced.
So here I go. I completed the application and paperwork. The school board went on their retreat and approved my application. I recently sent off my first round of support letters. Still can't believe it. It's amazing the peace God has given me since the beginning when I started looking. And, amazingly enough, my parents aren't making me feel too guilty about it anymore. I had expected more emotional phone conversations about how my desires in life are not the same as there's and that I am ok with being the "different one" in the family. God is making it happen and I know will continue to guide my heart in the direction he will have me go. And if that be in the direction I am heading now, then on July 20, 2007, I will be teaching ESL in Bogota, Colombia, at El Camino Academy!
