Top Ten Cultural Differences I am struggling with...

This is a list of things we laugh about and struggle with due to the bumping of cultures. Of course, these are not things that everyone who lives here does, but just like people all over the world have stereotypes of Americans, we have formed our own ideas of the culture here. This is meant for me to look back on later and say, "I remember when that was weird to me" or "I was totally wrong about that" or even "what cultural difference?, that's completely normal". So just know that I am taken back sometimes by these differences that I have to adjust to but not enough to take away the love I have for Colombia and the people.

10- And my mom tells me I exaggerate...
Colombians are super protective of their children. Many times I have heard of parents who get upset for their children having to run a few laps at sport practice after school or for having to participate in class when they have a headache or stomache ache. Kids go to the nurse for EVERYTHING! The foreign teachers struggle with this because we are used to being pushed and not pitied unless it was an extreme case like vomiting or a broken leg so we often don't let students get out of work because of a simple leg cramp or cough (I'm probably exaggerating a little). Also, something I find pretty ridiculous and hard for me to comply with is that when people (kids and teachers) are sick, we have to wear face masks. I felt like I was mocking the nurse (who is super sweet) by not wearing my face mask when I had a cold last week... I just didn't want to look funny but I probably should have worn the mask. Maybe next time.

9- Greetings to you
In Latin American culture, to say hello and goodbye to someone you kiss them on the cheek. I like this better than shaking hands because it seems so much more personal. However, sometimes I feel a bit too lazy to kiss everyone and their grandmother goodbye. At church, friends' homes, school, and other places where there are large numbers of people, many that you don't know, it gets pretty annoying. It can take 30 minutes or longer to say your goodbyes so you have start leaving way ahead of time because it can't stop at a kiss...you have to say what you are doing later, where you are going, why you are leaving early, when you will see the person again, and what a pleasure it was to meet the person and hang out. In the US, we say bye to a few of the people who we are close to and then, maybe, wave to everyone else in the room. I have tried a few times to wave from the other side of the room but then felt like I was being rude and disrespectful. I am definitely going to have to put more effort into making this a part of my lifestyle here as it is soooo important. I love it but it doesn't come natural.

8- Higher Prices
Us Foreigners are often overcharged at small stores, services, and when buying things off the street because we are Gringos. If they weren't set off by our clothing, hair color, or eye color, they obviously can hear from our bad spanish that we are not from these parts. When Colombians are with us, they tell us to move away and let them purchase the items for us because they will get a better price. We paid 5,000.00 for an Avocado one day and our maid got one for 2,500.00. I'm pretty sure this doesn't happen in the States or does Walmart only roll back the prices for the Gringos? Guess I will have to dye my hair and work on my accent to fix this problem.

7- Honesty X 10
Colombians tend to tell it like it is. If someone is too skinny, they tell him/her. If someone is having a bad hair day, they tell him/her. If someone does something like drinking or dancing, they let them know their opinion on it. The worst, however, is when someone is overweight. At our gym we are required to meet with a doctor for an exam our first few weeks so they can go over healthy weight loss and that sort of stuff. My friend met with the doctor the other day and he told her that she needed to lose weight and she isnt overweight in my opinion. This isn't that crazy though because the purpose of the doctor is to tell you how to meet your weight goals. But it just isn't nice to tell someone that you think they are fat. Another time a friend and I were browsing some artistan booths and a guy reached over the counter and tapped my friend's stomache to ask when she was due and if it was a boy or girl. She was pretty offended and I would have been as well. By the way, there is very little obesity in Bogota so he may have been giving his opinion of her compared to the size of most women here. Another example of this is a comment made by an incredible lady who works at our school. Bethany and I were sitting with her during dinner at a school event and talking about life, God, the school, and how God brought us to Colombia. The next thing she brought up was her husband's accident which led him to take an herb to help him gain his weight back and she said the herb also helps people lose weight. Then she bluntly said to us that she has been considering giving a guy we know this herb because he is overweight. Bethany and I were shocked that someone so polite and sweet could say such a thing but we kept a straight face to not show offense to her comment but if someone were to say this in the US, she would be informed of her insensitivity. She also mentioned that she would love to take his weight off and put it on another friend of ours who is a bit skinny. Yeah, we were speechless. We couldn't respond either way because we didn't want to be disrespectful to her nor agree with her. I'm pretty sure I will never adjust to someone being so honest about such a thing but I really think that she didn't mean it in a negative way and if she understood our culture, she would feel terrible for having said it. I guess in the US we save face quite a bit and hold back our opinions, even if it is the truth, because it is so important to us to keep peace and not hurt feelings. Also in the US it is normal to see people of all shapes, sizes, hair colors, eye colors, etc. so we don't point out differences as often. Here everyone is pretty much the same size, height, hair color, eye color, skin color, etc.


6- I know the answer!
So it seems that Colombians do not like to dissappoint people. Many times we ask people for directions on the street and we have learned that we often get an answer but it may not be the right answer. Now when taking the bus we are hesitant to ask for help finding the correct route because we may end up going in the opposite direction. Also in stores, if they do not have an item we are looking for they tell us they will order it or find it and to come back next week. The item never turns up, but the manager will continue to tell you that it will be there soon. It's really frustrating actually because I think I would prefer being told no we don't have it, don't know where to find it, or simply I don't know which bus you should take, rather than I can tell you want you want to hear because I want you to be satisfied.

5- Calls, Whistles, and Stares
I'm sure you are aware or have heard from someone that men in latin culture tend to make it obvious when they see a nice looking woman. It's called Machismo. Of course this isn't all men but it happens often enough that it should be on my list. Just yesterday I was at the store outside my house and this older guy was staring at me and began asking me personal questions like where I live and what I do. The gym is another place that we get those looks. Of course having lighter colored hair doesn't help to blend in, but these definitely aren't looks of "she has a different hair color". I don't know how Colombian women feel about this, but to us gringas, it is very disrespectful and distasteful and something we have learned to brush off because maybe these guys don't realize that we feel this way. I've also heard that guys think the word 'no' means 'maybe' and that they can be pretty pushy and get attached very easily. Basically it is hard to not be polite and talk to people, but we know that saying hi could be opening a door that we may have to slam shut.

4- I am from the South
We have been informed by the school that it is not safe to tell people about your personal life, like where you work, where you are from, what your name is, where you live, how old you are, etc. But umm, I am from the south and I tell everyone everything about myself because I trust that people are good or at least in Clinton, NC, everyone knows everyone so it is ok to talk about your life because they probably know it anyway. Here in the big city you obviously shouldn't tell people on the street or the taxi driver about your life and at times this is even hard because I forget that when I am practicing my spanish in Colombia that it isn't a game like in Spanish class. What better time to practice your spanish than in the taxi with the friendly taxi guy who could possibly kidnap you. What is more difficult is not sharing informatin with our doormen who are really nice and helpful that we see everyday and are here to protect us. And it was suggested that we not share information with our wonderful maid Patricia, who is much like a Mother, because she could be tell her friends that she works for Americans and be forced to give the information and our keys to the person threatening her life. Everyone is very serious about keeping this information quite that it must be a big deal and I guess I will have to refrain from being trusting and friendly to so many people.

3-Que hora es? No importa...
Being from the US where we are work driven and money is time, we are very concerned with being on time and maximizing the number of things we get done each day. We know that being late for something is inconvenient for all of the people that have us on their schedule and we wouldn't want them to do that to us. We work until everything on our list is done and often don't make time for the important things like God, family, friends, nature, breathing and resting. Latin Americans do not seem to be as concerned with time. Being late is not a big deal and is almost expected. When I first arrived here, it was very rare to see a clock, so I never knew what time is was and it drove me crazy. No one else seemed to care so I learned to just go with it. Last night we had a birthday dinner at our house for a Colombian friend. We started cooking at 7, which was the time everyone was suposed to arrive. We wanted to food to be ready, but not cold. We had to remind ourselves that they were Colombians to we needed to chill out. Everyone arrived at 7:45 which wasn't too bad.

I am the type of person who hates being late so I get super stressed out if I am on the bus stuck in traffic or if my friends are running behind and making me late. I think I eventually will adjust and it's nice knowing that no one cares if we show up late, but this could really mess me up when I return to the states and am late for work. I doubt my adaptation to this culture will be an accepted excuse.

Another thing about time is that everything is last minute. No one makes plans or schedules things too far ahead of time (unless it is work related). I am such a planner and I like having things written in my calendar so I know what to expect a week or month ahead. When we take weekend trips, they are often planned the day before or even 2 hrs before. Dinner plans, birthday parties, day trips, and all other events are planned a few hours before. I have a hard time waiting until the last minute and often find myself nagging people about plans but I am trying to hold back. I have started telling everyone 'no' who asks me to do something a few days in advance because I want to wait until the last minute to see how many last minute things come up on that day. So, when I come back for Christmas, if I tell you I can't commit to anything yet, remember the culture I have been living in and call me a few hours before you want to hang out and don't expect me to be my normal punctual self.

2- Social Status
In Bogota, there is a definite line of social status. The neighborhoods are divided into stratas. Strata 6 is the highest and Strata 1, the poorest. They charge your utilities bills accordingly, therefore, if you live in strata 6, you pay higher utility bills but will also get better quality internet, cable, and your electricity will be more consistent. The lower the strata, the poorer the quality of these things, the lesser the safety, and the more often you will lose electricity. I think we live in Strata 5.

Another clear division we see in social status are the jobs and the pay for those jobs. Services are very cheap. I have mentioned that we have a maid. We pay her 25,000 a day which is equal to 15 dollars for a 8 hours of work. She lives about an hour bus ride from our house because she can't afford to live in the city. We have been told we actually pay more than the normal wage for a maid and we often give her gifts. Hair cut and wash= 4-5 dollars. Deliveries of groceries and meals= 50 cent tip. You get the point. This seems to be a way of keeping the wealth with the wealth and keeping the poor, poor so that these services can continue to be offered to the wealthy. We really struggle with this and usually over tip (by alot) simply because we can and these people work super hard and are cheerful even though they live a tough life. We have been told that it is better to keep things the way the Colombians do it and I am not really sure what harm it would do if we didn't follow their system. Maybe they think that if we pay them more, they will begin to be dissatisfied with the way things are and start protesting. If this is it, it still isn't right. There are many wealthy people in this city and it would be awesome to see a transformation in their hearts which would cause them to have a burden for the poor, orphans, street kids, homeless, and lower class.

1- No cutting
On a lighter note, we have noticed a large amount of cutting...line cutting. For awhile I just thought the kids at school were super rude and had no manners or respect for adults. In the lunch line and at the school store, Kids are constantly skipping. Then it started to become more noticeable everywhere else. While waiting in line at the bakery with my arms full of bread, a man pushed right in front of me and put his stuff on the counter. In the bathroom at church a lady pushed us out of the way and stepped right in front of us to get to the stall. Everytime this happens (which is at least once a day), we look at each other and think what is wrong with these people. We have decided it must be a cultural thing and that it is weird to us because in the US we are very concious of equality and fairness and making sure everyone gets what they deserve. The concept of a line is in place so that whoever is there first gets what they need first. It makes since to me and I am trying to hold back my corrective comments and dirty looks when I am skipped in line.

Breakdown

So I am sick at home right now with "el gripe" (sounds extreme but it's just a bad cold). Yesterday I went in to work late and left early and today I couldn't bring myself to attempt getting out into the city. At first I was like this is terrible. I have too much work to do at school to be sick.

Now I'm thankful for this time to slow down now. I guess in a way I'm getting what I asked for. I have been annoyed lately with how busy I am and how I have so much stuff going on that my time with God gets pushed to the end of the list of things to do, meaning it usually doesn't happen. I've been praying that God would help me to make that time a priority. It makes a huge difference in my attitude about the work I have been doing because it's become just that- work. I'm sure God is not happy with this because it's not from my heart and therefore, it's not pleasing to him. Jeff mentioned a passage from Isaiah a few weeks ago about the Isrealites' worship being worthless because they had lost the real meaning behind their sacrifices, incense, etc. I guess in a way the things I have been doing here lately have gotten to that point.

My being sick is probably God's way of slowing me down so I will spend some time with him and get the focus back on Him. It's amazing how I expected my time here with God to be the best it has ever been since I followed Him here. The first part of this adventure was incredible so I assumed I was going to be used to make a difference here in this country and that everyday God's purpose in me coming here would be obvious and clear. He has been working through us, I'm sure; it just hasn't been the way we expected.

This morning I was listening to some sermons and then to Jack Johnson. A song came on called Breakdown and I think the words describe how I have felt in all the busyness lately, so I pasted the song below...

"Breakdown"
I hope this old train breaks down
Then I could take a walk around
And, see what there is to see
And time is just a melody
All the people in the street
Walk as fast as their feet can take them
I just roll through town
And though my windows got a view
The frame im looking through
Seems to have no concern for now
So for now

I need this old train to breakdown
Oh please just let me please breakdown

This engine screams out loud
Centipede gunna crawl westbound
So I don't even make a sound
Cause it's gunna sting me when I leave this town
All the people in the street
That i'll never get to meet
If these tracks don't bend somehow
And I got no time
That I got to get to
Where I don't need to be

So I need this old train to breakdown
Oh please just let me please breakdown
I need this here old train to breakdown
Oh please just let me please breakdown

I wanna break on down
But I cant stop now
Let me break on down
But you cant stop nothing
If you got no control
Of the thoughts in your mind
That you kept in, you know
You don't know nothing
But you don't need to know
The wisdom's in the trees
Not the glass windows
You cant stop wishing
If you don't let go
But things that you find
And you lose, and you know
You keep on rolling
Put the moment on hold
The frames too bright
So put the blinds down low

I think, I hope, that this is the "Breakdown" I needed to get my focus back where it should be so that I don't look back and regret this time here. I want to put the moments on hold, walk around and see what there is to see, meet the people, enjoy the melody of the now because "I have no time that I need to get to, where I don't need to be". So I guess this is where I slow down and appreciate where God has called me to right now in my life and hand my time and schedule back over to him. "You can't stop wishing if you don't let go"...I keep wishing/wanting other ways to serve God outside of the school world but maybe I should let go and let Him direct what I do; He's the one who brought me here in the first place so he must know where and how he wants to use me.

There are many stories in the Bible that talk about toil/work and worship. One is the well known story of Mary and Martha definitely relates to my life the past few weeks- Jesus is pleased with Mary who is worshipping Him instead of working like Martha (who thought she was doing work for Him).

One more favorite Jack Johnson line that is similar to what God has been trying to tell me the past weeks is: "If you would only listen, you might just realize what you are missing, you're missing me". So simple to say but it's always so hard to let go of those things we think are so important on our list of things to do to make time for what is really missing- God, who will "equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever." (Hebrews 13:21)

Millionaros vs. Santa Fe

On Sunday night, Bethany, Whitney, and I went with Mafe and her brother and uncle, and two fathers with their sons, to a soccer game. The two teams playing were the Millionaros and Santa Fe, both from Bogota. This was a pretty cool game to us because their is a battle at school over the two teams and which is better. Most of the school are Millionaros fans but we have a few pretty intense Santa Fe fans, one of which used to play for Santa Fe.

So, we payed our 20,000 (10 dollars) for a ticket and went to El Campin (the stadium) wearing blue for the Millionaros. I bought a Jersey that Mr. Chomoro bargained to lower the price to 18,000 (9 dollars)- so cheap! We had great seats right in the middle of the feild and in the highest section. The excitement from both teams was incredible (probably something like a Carolina vs. NCState game). However, the fans get a bit more violent than college football fans. Did you know that when the Colombian scored a point for the wrong team a few years ago, the fans killed him when he returned to the country...ridiculous! There were fully armed and sheilded policia everywhere and when a player threw the ball in from the sidelines, 4-5 Policia with their sheilds would surround him to block him from the crowd. We felt pretty safe there but I definitely will not cheer for the Millos in front of a stranger from the other team. The players are also pretty violent towards each other, I guess that could be assumed, but I guess in the US you don't see that so much because of all the rules that we have for games to avoid disorder. One of the Millios players fell down and a Santa fe player offered to help him up. That seemed like the right thing to do but then a Millos player ran up and pulled the Santa Fe's hand away from the Millos' because it must be insulting to be helped by the opposite team...geez.

While there we learned some chants from the Millos fans, many of which we also learned new words that we had to bleep out, and new futbol (soccer) vocabulary in spanish. It was neat to feel like we actually fit in. Normally we are the ones who look different, but wearing the blue and cheering made us feel like Colombians and part of their culture.

The final score was 1-0 Millos, yay! It was a great game and definitely a learning experience.

Staff Retreat, Dia del Amor y Amistad, etc...

Thursday, Sept. 6 all of the El Camino Teachers left for staff retreat weekend in Tocaima, a small city about 3 hrs down the mountain away from Bogota. The retreat center was simple but incredible. We had the whole place to ourselves. All weekend we were served Colombian foods, and, of course, soup before every meal because T.I.C. The retreat center had two pools, a meeting room where we had meeting, worship, and devotions, and two hotel type buildings. We were assigned rooms randomly so that we would get to know staff that we often do not get to spend time with which meant mixing the English speakers with Spanish speakers (fortunately I speak spanish unlike some of the other americans). We had a great time getting to know everyone better and developing the relationships that will helps our staff work together and get along well this year. A few of the board members came along on the trip so we were able to spend time getting to know them and their vision for the school. Most of them are missionaries themselves so it was neat hearing their stories of how God brought them to Colombia and the work they are doing. They all have children at the school, some of their own and others that they adopted from Colombian orphanages.

We played lots of games in the pool and the last night learned a few spanish games. My favorite is "el rey y la reina se van a casar" which is a fun game of repetition and sequence that I can't explain without teaching it. It was a very refreshing weekend and we felt very blessed that the school could budget such a trip. It's awesome that they know that the school will not function without those relationships being strong.

The retreat ended when we returned to Bogota Saturday night exhausted. Sunday morning a few of us stayed home and listed to my church in Raleigh's sermon online (which I am soooo thankful to have access to). Those have been talking about social justice and charity which is pretty cool because God has been teaching me alot lately that related to the past few messages at Visio Dei (my church).

I've been pretty upset lately that most of my time is spent at the school and hanging out with staff because everyday I pass by homeless people, or hear of how little people are paid for their services, or learn more about the orphanages all around the city. I really want to be involved in other things and find other ways to give to people in this country but everyone continues to remind me that God called me here to teach and that I am also still adjusting to the culture and getting to know my surroundings. Hopefully I will soon find more ways to serve the people here.

One thing I haven't mentioned to many people is that we have a maid. Her name is Patricia and she is incredible. She works for many of the Americans here and calls us her gringos. I'm sure it sounds a bit weird that missionaries are paying for people to clean their homes and that's how I felt at first. Then, after meeting Patricia and hearing her story, we learned that she is from a poorer part of Bogota and supports her daughter and grandchild. She is an amazing lady and treats us like her own daughters. In many ways, we are her ministry and she is ours. In this country, jobs such as hers pay very little. We pay about 15 dollars for a whole day of her work which is more than she would normally make and she does way more than we would expect of her. She has become a friend and part of our family here in Colombia. She goes out of her way to make sure we are comfortable. She even offered to clean the guys place knowing that they don't have sufficient support raised to pay her because she says God is the one who gives her the finances she needs to survive and support her family.

After everyone else got back from church Sunday, they came over to watch the cubs play san diego since everyone expect me seems to be from Chicago area. Afterwards we cooked dinner and moved the furniture out to do some salsa and merengue dancing. (Did I mention that I love this part of the culture?!) It was muy chevere.

The following week was pretty busy for many reasons. The President of our missions organization, RCE, came to visit us to make sure everything was working out with our support and insurance type stuff. Beth, our principal put me in charge of organizing and hosting a dinner for him on Thursday night. It was stressful but fun getting that together. Patricia helped with the cooking of Ajiaco, a Colombian soup, and plantanos, yuca, guacamole, arepas, maracuya juice, lulo juice, and the deserts. It was muy rico and a fun, informative night.

Friday we celebrated "el dia de amor y amistad" at school. This is Colombia's equavalent to "Valentines Day". The student council had a flower sale which was very sucessful. We have sooo many flowers around our house that the students and staff gave us!! Saturday we celebrated again at Johnny and Susie's home, a couple that work at the school. They had a dance party and invited people from their church that are our age. It was fun getting to know more colombians and they taught us more salsa and merengue and a few other dances.

New House and More Roommates

A little over a week ago, Me and my two roommates, Melody and Liz, moved from our small, third floor, one bath, empty Mirandela apartment to a beautiful 3 story, 3 bathroom, fully furnished house with a garden! It was definitely a blessing from God that we were given this place to live. A couple, who worked at the school last year and were planning on returning to teach this year, decided last minute that they were not going to come back this year. (You may remember from previous blogs my thoughts about the situation and having to take over some kindergarten classes because of their decision to stay in the US). Everything has worked itself out now and we are super excited about living in a place that feels like a home. We were also given many extras that aren't so necessary for living in a foreign country as missionaries such as a video projector and surround sound that we can hook up to our computers to watch movies on the big screen that pulls down in our living room! We are loving the company that comes with having such a cool piece of equipment! Another really awesome thing we "inherited" that everyone can take advantage of, if you'd like, is a US phone. That means anyone, anywhere in the US, who wants to hear my voice over the phone, can call for free! The phone works through the internet and we pay only $25 total for unlimited calls! (I really really really love this because it is so much more convenient to talk to my wonderful boyfriend. And, my parents can call me instead of worrying for hours if I have been kidnapped yet!). It's amazing how this simple piece of technology can make me feel less far away from the people I care about! Maybe homesickness won't be too much of a problem this year. Anyway, if you want the number, let me know!

Saturday night, Rebecca, the fourth of our roommates arrived. On Sunday we went to the only English speaking church in the city (as far as we know) and then took Rebecca up the mountain to a favorite restaurant of ours called "La Mazorca" which is great for typical Colombia food.

Tuesday night my 5th and final roommate, Katherine, arrived. It is going to be a fun, but interesting year, living with 5 girls! We are all pretty different but have lots of fun together exploring Bogota and other parts of the country. I do not doubt that we will have conflicts at times, but we are all we have here and we are similar in that way. So far the only stressful thing about living in this big house with so many roommates was finding beds and getting the beds to our house from the guys' house (which sounds simple but dealing with the laid back view of time in latin american culture means you could wait around for hours or days or weeks before something gets done). Also, because of construction of our neighborhood road (that has been going on for 6 months) we lost water Tuesday, which was the day before staff picture day at school, and for 2 days we couldn't work our gas to warm the water. Anytime something happens like this, we, the Americans, say "T.I.C." aka "This is Colombia". So if you ever want to travel to Colombia, don't worry about the guerillas because that is not a problem. So far, the biggest problems we have had is understanding and adjusting to the different culture.

I will be on a staff retreat for school at 3pm today until saturday night so I will load some pictures when I return. We are going to Tocaima, which is about 2 hrs down the mountain, which also means it will be 20 degrees warmer (hopefully at least 80 degrees)!

I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the end of your summer (I am really missing the warm weather)! Thanks for your prayers and support!