Top Ten Cultural Differences I am struggling with...

This is a list of things we laugh about and struggle with due to the bumping of cultures. Of course, these are not things that everyone who lives here does, but just like people all over the world have stereotypes of Americans, we have formed our own ideas of the culture here. This is meant for me to look back on later and say, "I remember when that was weird to me" or "I was totally wrong about that" or even "what cultural difference?, that's completely normal". So just know that I am taken back sometimes by these differences that I have to adjust to but not enough to take away the love I have for Colombia and the people.

10- And my mom tells me I exaggerate...
Colombians are super protective of their children. Many times I have heard of parents who get upset for their children having to run a few laps at sport practice after school or for having to participate in class when they have a headache or stomache ache. Kids go to the nurse for EVERYTHING! The foreign teachers struggle with this because we are used to being pushed and not pitied unless it was an extreme case like vomiting or a broken leg so we often don't let students get out of work because of a simple leg cramp or cough (I'm probably exaggerating a little). Also, something I find pretty ridiculous and hard for me to comply with is that when people (kids and teachers) are sick, we have to wear face masks. I felt like I was mocking the nurse (who is super sweet) by not wearing my face mask when I had a cold last week... I just didn't want to look funny but I probably should have worn the mask. Maybe next time.

9- Greetings to you
In Latin American culture, to say hello and goodbye to someone you kiss them on the cheek. I like this better than shaking hands because it seems so much more personal. However, sometimes I feel a bit too lazy to kiss everyone and their grandmother goodbye. At church, friends' homes, school, and other places where there are large numbers of people, many that you don't know, it gets pretty annoying. It can take 30 minutes or longer to say your goodbyes so you have start leaving way ahead of time because it can't stop at a kiss...you have to say what you are doing later, where you are going, why you are leaving early, when you will see the person again, and what a pleasure it was to meet the person and hang out. In the US, we say bye to a few of the people who we are close to and then, maybe, wave to everyone else in the room. I have tried a few times to wave from the other side of the room but then felt like I was being rude and disrespectful. I am definitely going to have to put more effort into making this a part of my lifestyle here as it is soooo important. I love it but it doesn't come natural.

8- Higher Prices
Us Foreigners are often overcharged at small stores, services, and when buying things off the street because we are Gringos. If they weren't set off by our clothing, hair color, or eye color, they obviously can hear from our bad spanish that we are not from these parts. When Colombians are with us, they tell us to move away and let them purchase the items for us because they will get a better price. We paid 5,000.00 for an Avocado one day and our maid got one for 2,500.00. I'm pretty sure this doesn't happen in the States or does Walmart only roll back the prices for the Gringos? Guess I will have to dye my hair and work on my accent to fix this problem.

7- Honesty X 10
Colombians tend to tell it like it is. If someone is too skinny, they tell him/her. If someone is having a bad hair day, they tell him/her. If someone does something like drinking or dancing, they let them know their opinion on it. The worst, however, is when someone is overweight. At our gym we are required to meet with a doctor for an exam our first few weeks so they can go over healthy weight loss and that sort of stuff. My friend met with the doctor the other day and he told her that she needed to lose weight and she isnt overweight in my opinion. This isn't that crazy though because the purpose of the doctor is to tell you how to meet your weight goals. But it just isn't nice to tell someone that you think they are fat. Another time a friend and I were browsing some artistan booths and a guy reached over the counter and tapped my friend's stomache to ask when she was due and if it was a boy or girl. She was pretty offended and I would have been as well. By the way, there is very little obesity in Bogota so he may have been giving his opinion of her compared to the size of most women here. Another example of this is a comment made by an incredible lady who works at our school. Bethany and I were sitting with her during dinner at a school event and talking about life, God, the school, and how God brought us to Colombia. The next thing she brought up was her husband's accident which led him to take an herb to help him gain his weight back and she said the herb also helps people lose weight. Then she bluntly said to us that she has been considering giving a guy we know this herb because he is overweight. Bethany and I were shocked that someone so polite and sweet could say such a thing but we kept a straight face to not show offense to her comment but if someone were to say this in the US, she would be informed of her insensitivity. She also mentioned that she would love to take his weight off and put it on another friend of ours who is a bit skinny. Yeah, we were speechless. We couldn't respond either way because we didn't want to be disrespectful to her nor agree with her. I'm pretty sure I will never adjust to someone being so honest about such a thing but I really think that she didn't mean it in a negative way and if she understood our culture, she would feel terrible for having said it. I guess in the US we save face quite a bit and hold back our opinions, even if it is the truth, because it is so important to us to keep peace and not hurt feelings. Also in the US it is normal to see people of all shapes, sizes, hair colors, eye colors, etc. so we don't point out differences as often. Here everyone is pretty much the same size, height, hair color, eye color, skin color, etc.


6- I know the answer!
So it seems that Colombians do not like to dissappoint people. Many times we ask people for directions on the street and we have learned that we often get an answer but it may not be the right answer. Now when taking the bus we are hesitant to ask for help finding the correct route because we may end up going in the opposite direction. Also in stores, if they do not have an item we are looking for they tell us they will order it or find it and to come back next week. The item never turns up, but the manager will continue to tell you that it will be there soon. It's really frustrating actually because I think I would prefer being told no we don't have it, don't know where to find it, or simply I don't know which bus you should take, rather than I can tell you want you want to hear because I want you to be satisfied.

5- Calls, Whistles, and Stares
I'm sure you are aware or have heard from someone that men in latin culture tend to make it obvious when they see a nice looking woman. It's called Machismo. Of course this isn't all men but it happens often enough that it should be on my list. Just yesterday I was at the store outside my house and this older guy was staring at me and began asking me personal questions like where I live and what I do. The gym is another place that we get those looks. Of course having lighter colored hair doesn't help to blend in, but these definitely aren't looks of "she has a different hair color". I don't know how Colombian women feel about this, but to us gringas, it is very disrespectful and distasteful and something we have learned to brush off because maybe these guys don't realize that we feel this way. I've also heard that guys think the word 'no' means 'maybe' and that they can be pretty pushy and get attached very easily. Basically it is hard to not be polite and talk to people, but we know that saying hi could be opening a door that we may have to slam shut.

4- I am from the South
We have been informed by the school that it is not safe to tell people about your personal life, like where you work, where you are from, what your name is, where you live, how old you are, etc. But umm, I am from the south and I tell everyone everything about myself because I trust that people are good or at least in Clinton, NC, everyone knows everyone so it is ok to talk about your life because they probably know it anyway. Here in the big city you obviously shouldn't tell people on the street or the taxi driver about your life and at times this is even hard because I forget that when I am practicing my spanish in Colombia that it isn't a game like in Spanish class. What better time to practice your spanish than in the taxi with the friendly taxi guy who could possibly kidnap you. What is more difficult is not sharing informatin with our doormen who are really nice and helpful that we see everyday and are here to protect us. And it was suggested that we not share information with our wonderful maid Patricia, who is much like a Mother, because she could be tell her friends that she works for Americans and be forced to give the information and our keys to the person threatening her life. Everyone is very serious about keeping this information quite that it must be a big deal and I guess I will have to refrain from being trusting and friendly to so many people.

3-Que hora es? No importa...
Being from the US where we are work driven and money is time, we are very concerned with being on time and maximizing the number of things we get done each day. We know that being late for something is inconvenient for all of the people that have us on their schedule and we wouldn't want them to do that to us. We work until everything on our list is done and often don't make time for the important things like God, family, friends, nature, breathing and resting. Latin Americans do not seem to be as concerned with time. Being late is not a big deal and is almost expected. When I first arrived here, it was very rare to see a clock, so I never knew what time is was and it drove me crazy. No one else seemed to care so I learned to just go with it. Last night we had a birthday dinner at our house for a Colombian friend. We started cooking at 7, which was the time everyone was suposed to arrive. We wanted to food to be ready, but not cold. We had to remind ourselves that they were Colombians to we needed to chill out. Everyone arrived at 7:45 which wasn't too bad.

I am the type of person who hates being late so I get super stressed out if I am on the bus stuck in traffic or if my friends are running behind and making me late. I think I eventually will adjust and it's nice knowing that no one cares if we show up late, but this could really mess me up when I return to the states and am late for work. I doubt my adaptation to this culture will be an accepted excuse.

Another thing about time is that everything is last minute. No one makes plans or schedules things too far ahead of time (unless it is work related). I am such a planner and I like having things written in my calendar so I know what to expect a week or month ahead. When we take weekend trips, they are often planned the day before or even 2 hrs before. Dinner plans, birthday parties, day trips, and all other events are planned a few hours before. I have a hard time waiting until the last minute and often find myself nagging people about plans but I am trying to hold back. I have started telling everyone 'no' who asks me to do something a few days in advance because I want to wait until the last minute to see how many last minute things come up on that day. So, when I come back for Christmas, if I tell you I can't commit to anything yet, remember the culture I have been living in and call me a few hours before you want to hang out and don't expect me to be my normal punctual self.

2- Social Status
In Bogota, there is a definite line of social status. The neighborhoods are divided into stratas. Strata 6 is the highest and Strata 1, the poorest. They charge your utilities bills accordingly, therefore, if you live in strata 6, you pay higher utility bills but will also get better quality internet, cable, and your electricity will be more consistent. The lower the strata, the poorer the quality of these things, the lesser the safety, and the more often you will lose electricity. I think we live in Strata 5.

Another clear division we see in social status are the jobs and the pay for those jobs. Services are very cheap. I have mentioned that we have a maid. We pay her 25,000 a day which is equal to 15 dollars for a 8 hours of work. She lives about an hour bus ride from our house because she can't afford to live in the city. We have been told we actually pay more than the normal wage for a maid and we often give her gifts. Hair cut and wash= 4-5 dollars. Deliveries of groceries and meals= 50 cent tip. You get the point. This seems to be a way of keeping the wealth with the wealth and keeping the poor, poor so that these services can continue to be offered to the wealthy. We really struggle with this and usually over tip (by alot) simply because we can and these people work super hard and are cheerful even though they live a tough life. We have been told that it is better to keep things the way the Colombians do it and I am not really sure what harm it would do if we didn't follow their system. Maybe they think that if we pay them more, they will begin to be dissatisfied with the way things are and start protesting. If this is it, it still isn't right. There are many wealthy people in this city and it would be awesome to see a transformation in their hearts which would cause them to have a burden for the poor, orphans, street kids, homeless, and lower class.

1- No cutting
On a lighter note, we have noticed a large amount of cutting...line cutting. For awhile I just thought the kids at school were super rude and had no manners or respect for adults. In the lunch line and at the school store, Kids are constantly skipping. Then it started to become more noticeable everywhere else. While waiting in line at the bakery with my arms full of bread, a man pushed right in front of me and put his stuff on the counter. In the bathroom at church a lady pushed us out of the way and stepped right in front of us to get to the stall. Everytime this happens (which is at least once a day), we look at each other and think what is wrong with these people. We have decided it must be a cultural thing and that it is weird to us because in the US we are very concious of equality and fairness and making sure everyone gets what they deserve. The concept of a line is in place so that whoever is there first gets what they need first. It makes since to me and I am trying to hold back my corrective comments and dirty looks when I am skipped in line.